Secure Your Home with Increasingly Threatening Signs
Why buy an alarm when you can buy a Sharpie?
Professional security systems are expensive. Handwritten signs promising vague consequences are free. This guide helps you protect your home through psychological warfare.
*Studies referenced may not exist. Statistics are entirely fabricated.
📝Step-by-Step Instructions
Start Subtle
Begin with 'Beware of Dog.' You don't need an actual dog—the sign is doing the work.
Escalate Gradually
Progress to 'Trespassers Will Be Photographed.' Then 'Smile, You're on Camera.' Add cameras? Optional.
Get Creative
'Nothing Inside Worth Dying For' is a classic. 'I Have a Shovel and Time' adds mystery.
Achieve Final Form
Cover entire fence with warning signs. Add hazmat symbols. Neighbors will assume you're either dangerous or insane. Either works.
⚠️Warnings & Disclaimers
Rate This Stupidity
How many facepalms does this tip deserve?
Current rating: 4/5 facepalms based on absolutely no actual votes.
📝Victim Testimonials
0 confessions filedAll reviews are stored locally in your browser. The Bureau of Stupid Tips is not responsible for any emotional damage caused by reading these testimonials. Reviews may be entirely fabricated, much like our qualifications.