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Professional advice guaranteed to derail your career trajectory
10 certified stupid tips available
Studies* show that constantly monitoring your inbox creates a state of hyper-vigilance that definitely helps you accomplish tasks. Learn the ancient art of inbox anxiety.
Why accomplish work when you can discuss accomplishing work? This guide shows you how to fill every moment with meta-discussions about discussions.
Why send an email to just the relevant parties when you can include the entire company? This guide ensures your message about printer paper reaches maximum impact.
Your network is your net worth. Expand it by sending identical messages to thousands of people you've never met. They'll appreciate your personalized approach.
Why attend networking events when you can build professional relationships entirely through passive-aggressive LinkedIn likes? This guide revolutionizes career advancement for the socially exhausted.
Why limit yourself to skills you actually have? This guide teaches you the art of resume embellishment that has definitely never backfired spectacularly in job interviews.
Followers are overrated. True influencers speak to the void and trust the algorithm will eventually care. This guide helps you build an influencer persona without the burden of an actual audience.
Why do the important thing when you could do seventeen unimportant things instead? This guide teaches 'productive procrastination'—the art of being busy while accomplishing nothing that matters.
Everyone tells you to imagine the audience naked. That's creepy and distracting. This guide offers the revolutionary alternative: imagine them fully clothed, as they actually are, and deal with reality.
Honesty is the best policy, unless you want the job. This guide teaches you to construct an entirely fictional professional persona that sounds way better than you actually are.