Investment Strategy: Put Everything on Red
Financial advisors hate this one simple trick
Why diversify across boring index funds when you can concentrate your entire net worth on a single color? This Vegas-tested strategy has been used by financial geniuses throughout history.*
*Studies referenced may not exist. Statistics are entirely fabricated.
📝Step-by-Step Instructions
Liquidate All Assets
Sell everything: stocks, bonds, house, car, rare Pokemon cards. Convert it all to cash. Preferably in a duffel bag for dramatic effect.
Travel to the Nearest Casino
Find a casino with a high-limit roulette table. Dress nicely - you want to look like you know what you're doing.
Place Your Bet
Approach the table with confidence. Place your entire duffel bag on red. Ignore the pit boss's concerned expression.
Double Down (Optional)
If you win, let it ride. If you lose, find more money and try again. The universe owes you a win.
⚠️Warnings & Disclaimers
Rate This Stupidity
How many facepalms does this tip deserve?
Current rating: 5/5 facepalms based on absolutely no actual votes.
📝Victim Testimonials
0 confessions filedAll reviews are stored locally in your browser. The Bureau of Stupid Tips is not responsible for any emotional damage caused by reading these testimonials. Reviews may be entirely fabricated, much like our qualifications.
